One year later

It is hard to believe it has been a year since I lost my last little miracle. My ray of hope after so much heartache. Everything just had to work that time and here I am again on an anniversary of a loss. I still remember the little room we waited in. David being angry and never wanting to be at that hospital again. The paperwork, warm air blanket, the cold operating room and the tears flowing uncontrolled as I came out of anesthesia. Another long car ride home and I couldn't wait to get Delainee. I have grown a lot in this past year. Closer to some people and farther from others. A year ago I wouldn't have pictured my life to be on this path. A year and 2 days ago I would have pictures sleepless nights, diapers and bottles. Today I am stronger. We may always be a family of 3 on earth but we are certainly going to have a good time doing it. This isn't the life I would have picked but it is mine! Every minute I need to remind myself that we will make it because we have each other. My heart will always break thinking of what Delainee is missing but I must push on or we can't live the life we deserve. I love you my sweet angels and one glorious day I will hold you in my arms, not just my heart.