The night before

Last year at this time I was nervously awaiting our last transfer. Praying for that child(ren) and thinking of who it/they would become. Never would I have dreamed my arms would be empty of those dreams. Never would I have imagined that I wouldn't have a plan that involved a baby. But that is the reality. That has been our reality for 6 years now. Delainee our only child and she will our only child. We have children in heaven that we will see one day but on earth she won't have that relationship that so many of us take for granted. Unless you have lived that life, unless your heart is as big as hers, unless you pray every night for a brother then you will never come close to understanding that infertility and pregnancy loss have a huge impact on the whole family. I reflect on who had been there for me and who still is through all of this. I am so thankful! Without God, David and Delainee I truly don't know how I would have gotten through the last 6 year. As I approach another birthday next month so many feelings are going to come over me. I am going to do my best to remain thankful! 

A Dry Eye Holiday (Christmas 2015 that just now posted)

Well I made it! I made it through Christmas with dry eyes! Christmas marked a year since I miscarried my 3rd ever pregnancy. Christmas marked 18 months since William was born into heaven. And I made it through without tears. I wasn't sure if I would because opening gifts I got a little teary eyed so I thought that wasn't a good start to the day. But we had a wonderful Christmas. Lots of yummy food, naps and movies. Delainee was even so kind to help me find the living room again after presents and life has taken over! I was reminded yesterday that I wasn't meant to just have a family of 3 because I love cooking and we will have leftovers until we are sick of them. But at least we are able to have those leftovers when some are not as fortunate. Here are our breakfast casseroles: 

The cinnamon roll French toast casserole was amazing! And so was the hashbrown casserole for that matter! Delainee didn't want the hashbrown one and I don't think ended up liking the cinnamon roll one like she expected. Before I let her get up I made her try s bite of my hashbrown one. She loved it. In fact she had that for supper! 

Here is our lunch spread:

Two words SO YUMMY! 

Delainee got her first BB gun yesterday! And we all went out and froze so she could give it a try! After having a meltdown because she couldn't pull the trigger (she wasn't even on it) she did great! She shot twice and hit both times! 

Overall it was a great day and I am so thankful!