Graduation day!

I thought this day would never come! Nearly 11 months ago we decided to take the next step,after trying for a second child for over 3 years, and saw Dr Doherty for the first time. At the consultation we were extremely satisfied with what she had to say and that day marked the start to our journey. It wasn't an easy journey but it got us to where we are today. We did 3 medicated cycles 1 being canceled and 2 being unsuccessful iui's. We then moved to IVF and transferred two of the most beautiful embryos my doctor had seen in a long time. Again we got a BFN. We were devastated. Devastation probably is an understatement. IUI failures hurt but IVF it was like I failed my babies. They were perfect and my body let them down. My job as a mother is to keep my babies safe and I wasn't able to do that. We moved right on to our FET. I had the transfer on March 21 and found out March 30 that it worked! That our prayers had been answered and we were pregnant! PREGNANT! I still am overjoyed that there is a baby growing in my tummy :) 

Yesterday was our last visit to our RE. It was very bittersweet. Our doctor helped our dreams come true. She was there for us in the bad times and the good. The nurses are wonderful and I am going to miss them all. We will meet with our new doctor towards the end of June and I have faith we will have just as excellent care from them.  I am excited to see our baby grow bigger and bigger until we finally get to meet him or her. I have seen many blogs with pregnancy questions so I thought it would be fun to do every so often. 

How far along: 12 weeks 6 days 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: As of the last time I weighed this week I was down 9 pounds! 

Maternity clothes: Not yet. 

Stretch marks: Only from Delainee.  

Sleep: I sleep pretty good. Sometimes I don't even get up once to go to the bathroom. The past few days I haven't slept as good because I have a sunburn. 

Best moment this week: We had our last appointment with our RE and got to see our little baby. 

Movement: Not yet.

Food cravings: I haven't had any real cravings. Things sound good sometimes is all. 

Gender: Don't know yet. Delainee says boy. David says boy. I think girl. 

Labor signs: N/A

Belly button - in or out? In. Have never had a belly button out so that would freak me out! 

What I miss: That is hard because I am

so thankful to have this baby growing. 

What I am looking forward to: Finding out what we're having and movements. 

Milestones: Getting past the morning sickness. It has improved so much! 

Here is a picture of our baby from yesterday. It was a tired baby that didn't want to wake up. The tech was shaking my stomach and poking around but the only reaction she got was arms thrown up like leave me alone! 

FET cycle #1

It is always hard to figure out how to start these posts. If you read my last post you know that back in March we found out our IVF didn't work so our next step was FET. FET is a frozen embryo transfer. After our fresh cycle we were blessed to have 8 embryos waiting for us. So we started our next cycle and planned to transfer 2 embryos. With a FET the protocol is different. Instead of doing shots to stimulate my ovaries I actually suppress them and build up the lining of my uterus. So I took the estrace pills for 10 days then went in for an ultrasound to check my lining. Everything looked great so we were on for transfer on that Friday. I started PIO (progesterone in oil) shots that Monday once a day. When I went in for transfer they draw blood and said my levels were low so I was increased to 2 shots a day! Here is a picture of our embryos the morning of the transfer. The top row is frozen and bottom is after they woke up. 

We would go back in 9 days (usually 8 but we had a scheduling conflict) for a BETA to see if I was pregnant. We stayed in Omaha because it was a weekend and I had to be there before 730. I rolled out of bed and went, came back to the hotel and we ate breakfast, I showered (praying my phone would ring while I was in the shower so David would get the news) and then after my shower my phone rang. My heart jumped out of my body and I caught my breath and answered. "Melissa this is (nurses name I don't remember) I am calling to tell you that you are pregnant!" I said yay and David started cheering and so did Delainee (although she had no idea why she was). I am pregnant! It worked! I was beside myself! I wanted a pregnancy test now so I could see that positive! My BETA was 181. Very very pregnant! They like to see it over 50. So on our way home we picked up HPT and folic acid because they wanted me on extra. When we got home the first thing I did was pee on that stick! And here it is! 

Isn't that a beauty? We went back 2 days later for a second BETA. They like it to double every 48-72 hours. My number was 407 more then doubled! Then the long 2 week wait to ultrasound. At this time I picked up Delainee's cold and slept half my day away. I was so tired!

The morning of my ultrasound I started spotting. Which I know this can happen but I was so happy I had an ultrasound that day! We went and there were 2 sacs. One had a heartbeat and one didn't. They said the one without (baby A) may or may not develop and spotting was normal. We left the office and I had mixed emotions. That little flicker of a heartbeat was beautiful but I was so sad my baby A may not make it. They scheduled me to come back one week later. I was to go to a meeting that afternoon and went to the bathroom before leaving the house and started bleeding. Not spotting bright red bleeding with clots and extreme cramping. It was no period cramping. I called and the nurse said to lay down to let my cervix and uterus calm down and then call and let them know how the bleeding was. It was better and gradually went away. They said it was hard to tell why I bleed but it is common and happens all the time. I would still go back in a week because they wouldn't want to irritate anything more then it already was. Here is a picture from my first ultrasound. 

Baby A didn't have a heartbeat Baby B did. 

Our next ultrasound a week later we still had 2 babies. Baby B had a 145 heart rate and measured 7 weeks 1 day (right on). Baby A had a weak heart around 74 I believe but it was beating! Measured 6 weeks 3 days so 5 days behind Baby B. They told us it was 50/50 if Baby A would make it and my next ultrasound would be in 2 long weeks! During all this time I had some spotting off and on but again very normal with IVF and multiple pregnancies. No more bleeding. Here are our babies from that ultrasound. 

This is Baby A. It was high up so hard for them to get a good look and picture. 

This is Baby B. 

I had been feeling sick but not getting sick until this appointment. I started getting sick more and more so the following week started taking a prescription to help me. It was a miracle pill for about 4 days. Then I got sick again. It does help though. Sometimes I just have to stop fighting my body and just do what it says and I feel better. 

Tuesday May 6 was our next ultrasound. I would be 9 weeks and 1 day if you go off of Baby B's measurements from 7 weeks. We got there and when the ultrasound tech started the ultrasound I could see the screen and saw my baby but she kept looking then went back to the baby. She said here is it's little arms and legs and we listened to the heart 180! She then told us our other baby stopped growing. I knew when I only saw one baby and an empty looking sac but the words confirmed it. I lost my baby. I am so thankful for my healthy baby. And I know my baby gave it all he had but God took him to be with him. I will see my baby again someday but until then there are ao many family members enjoying him (I say him because that is what my heart says). My heart is so happy I have a healthy baby growing  but it will always long for the baby we lost. Here is out baby at 9 weeks 1 day. 

See it's little arms and legs? 

I am writing this post on Thursday but posting it Sunday because that is when we will have told family. Delainee will find out Friday so I don't have a reaction from her yet but I can't wait to tell her! 

I will always have infertility. I will always be bitter when people get pregnant easy. But I also wouldn't be who I am today without this journey. And the journey isn't over. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. Mommy's of angels and of babies, toddlers, teens and adults. We are all moms! 

So I thought it would be fun to figure up how many PIO shots I have and will finish up with (Tuesday!) for this cycle. The total is....110 shots! And they are a 1 1/2 inch needle in the upper outer butt. I have welts on my rear and honestly think it will never be the same but it has been so worth it! I also take 8 pills daily! I will start decreasing the estrace (blue) on Tuesday and finish them the first few days of June. I will also finish the metformin after my next appointment which is May 30. I will continue to take the prenatal and extra folic acid for the remainder of my pregnancy and hopefully I will quit the nausea meds (not pictured) in the coming month. 

Please continue to pray that this baby will be healthy and so will my pregnancy. Thank you for all the prayers during this difficult time.