Fertility cycle number two

November 1 I went back to the doctor after being on birth control for a month because of cysts. My ultrasound went great the cysts were gone so on the 3rd I started injections again. This time she started me at 100 units and I went back the following Friday. At that ultrasound there weren't any front runners and after getting my estrogen blood work they called and said to increase to 200 and come back Tuesday. On Tuesday I had a follie (egg) measuring at 17 which was great! A single front runner! So I did one more night of injections and on Wednesday night I triggered! That means on Friday we were doing IUI! I was extremely nervous for the trigger shot because David had to administer it in the muscle but he was so wonderful I didn't feel more then a prick of the needle. On Friday we went up and did the insemination! And the wait began! Two long weeks of waiting before I could test. My estrogen level that day was over 800. For one good egg they like it a over 200 so mine was exceptional! My lining was great and David's numbers were gold star achievable! Everything was perfect! Then finally today was the day to test. I have been thinking about it nonstop for two days. Wasn't sure I would be able to sleep last night! I was afraid to test because if it was negative it would be real. Until that lonely one line I could imagine the what ifs. Well reality had to hit and it hit me snack in the gut. One lonely line it was. It isn't fair. I wanted it to be positive so bad but no matter how hard I looked at it it wasn't changing. No cute ultrasound reveals at Christmas for family. No getting to tell Delainee finally there is a baby in my tummy, that she will be a big sister. We are taking a break until after the holidays. Treatments take up a lot of time. Ultrasounds 2-3 days a week and being hormonal. I would much rather enjoy the holidays and Delainee's Christmas break without that. So next year we will have a new start. And let's face it that is only just over a month away! 

Here is a picture of my first tree that is up :) 

Love my "nature tree". Can't wait to put more trees up! Decorating and having trees up is one of my favorite things! The end result is my favorite of course! Enjoy your Thanksgiving with family or friends and I will update when all my trees are up!

Nothing new to report...

When I went back after my last cycle started I had cysts because of the injections so there is nothing new to report because I was put on birth control for a month and I will go back soon to see if they are gone! Fingers crossed they are! I couldn't feel that they were in there so can't say I feel a difference. I am ready to try this again! If I over produce again it is recommended (she actually gave the option for this round) we do IVF. I am not ready for that because our insurance doesn't cover anything and IFV would take our fertility savings to nothing. And what if it didn't work? We would have to wait a good deal of time to do anything again. So I am just going to focus on today and the days ahead and say a lot of prayers! 

David is busy in the combine but has had short days because of frost or moisture in the mornings. I sure so miss him this time of year but also enjoy this time of year because it is so beautiful and I love the smell of harvest and the sound of a combine in the distance. 

My last post was about our dear Ally whom we had to put to sleep. I miss that girl every day! She was more then a dog she was another member of our family. To help our hearts heal we added a new member to our family. 

Meet Oliver 

The pictures are most recent back to 2 weeks ago! He has grown so much already! He really is a good puppy. Few accidents and sleeps all night and doesn't potty in his kennel! Good boy! For a while he was getting up at 4 to go out. Like having a newborn but a newborn you don't freeze you botty off when you get up. Lol. He will be going to training in a few weeks just like Ally did. She was a wonderful dog and we want to give him the chance to be the best he can be too. 

RIP Ally! You were a good damn dog!

The last week has been such a terrible week for us! A week ago today our girl Ally was hit by a pickup on our dirt road just past our house. We don't have a whole lot of traffic because it turns to dirt after our house but harvest has begun. Ally loved to chase vehicles but always stayed on the bank so this is all still a mystery to us. In fact Monday morning when we came home from town I tricked her and drove past the house and she ran on the bank behind us and then stopped and was waiting for us when we turned around and came home. David was enjoying his coffee before heading over to the farm Monday morning and when he went outside and had been in and out of the truck he just knew there was something wrong. So he drove down the dirt road (stop reading if you don't want details) and found our girls tail in the road. We spent the next hour and a half searching for Ally. Kellie came over and was helping us and decided to look on the other side of the road and saw her head and ears through a pine tree. What we found was our girl alive but in bad shape. She could walk but her abdomen was filleted open and her tail had been ripped out so her hind end was very messed up. We took her to the vet and he said he would do his best to put her back together but couldn't guarantee she would be able to function properly. Through out the week we went in and Thursday even brought her home to try and get her to eat. She couldn't urinate without him pressing her bladder and we still didn't know if she would have bowel control because she wouldn't eat. Well Thursday night he force feed her gravy and Friday morning when we saw her you could tell she had more strength. Unfortunately when we went in Saturday morning, expecting to bring her home for the day the vet told us she had now bowel control. At that point the hard choice had to be made to put her down. She was an inside dog so she couldn't live like that and neither could we. We are trying to expand our family and having dog poop on the floor and shampooing the carpet constantly isn't a healthy environment for anyone, let alone a baby or our 4 year old daughter. It was so hard to say goodbye to Ally and I miss her beyond words. Even though she hasn't been home for a week now except for a day visit I wake up expecting her to meet me in the living room after I go to the bathroom so she can go outside to potty. I would let her out on the deck and she would take off barking to scare off anything that may be in the dark. She wasn't big barker, the vet said she never barked when we would board her when we were out of town. Bless her heart she was just the best girl a family could ask for. I was going through my computer and found this video of her. This was our typical Ally.

 

RIP Miss Ally, we love you so damn much!

 

Feeling Bummed...

I went in on September 4 for my cycle day 3 baseline ultrasound and got the all clear to start Follistim. I started at 75iu a day and was scheduled to go back September 9. Well I went back today and only small follies and I just got the call my E2 (Esterase) level is 49, it should be 100's. So my dose is increased to 225iu a day! Triple what I was on. I go back Thursday the 12th for an ultrasound and blood work. I am praying with all of my heart that this helps! I wouldn't have had enough medication for that high of a dose so luckily my Dr. gave me a sample to add to mine. That saves a considerable amount of $ but moving forward if this cycle doesn't work and my dose was that high it will be so much more $ then I could have ever expected! Just really don't know what to think at this point. I want to be hopeful but just feeling bummed right now. Hopefully Thursday I will fell better about this.


Well I went back yesterday (September 12th) and I had 1 follie on each side measuring 12 which was an increase from 7 so yay! I had lots of little ones she said which hopefully they don't decide to start responding because we don't need to over stimulate and then have a wasted cycle. But I am not going to focus on the what if I am going to focus on the fact that there are 2 follies that are growing! I am continuing on 225iu a day until Sunday and will go back then to have my blood drawn and ultrasound. Oh and I forgot to mention Monday my E2 was 49 Monday and 534 yesterday! So I am responding nicely! They want your level to be 200-600 per mature follie when you trigger and so far I am in that range for when that time comes and it should only rise!

September 15- Well my fear happened :( I over stimulated. 8 eggs were nearly mature so the cycle was canceled. Very bummed! So now the wait is on once again. I am sad that we have to start over with a new cycle, and mad that we spent so much $ on medicine but glad I guess that the first cycle is behind us and we can all learn from it and know what to expect. The dr will be more conservative next cycle so hopefully I won't over produce. We could have continued this cycle but we weren't willing to reduce in the event of more then 3 babies and a multiple pregnancy above that is just too dangerous and my Dr won't proceed, which I can't say I blame her. We certainly couldn't imagine that many babies either because it would involve so many risks. So we are in Omaha and going to enjoy the day with Delainee at Amazing Pizza Machine. :) 

September is PCOS Awareness Month

How ironic is it that our first fertility treatment is going to be during PCOS Awareness Month? PCOS is real and so many people could be living with it and don't even know it! That is my main reason for not keeping my disease and struggle a secret. I hope by me being open about my story I can  help even one women discover that she too may be going through the same thing and not getting the answers that I did not get. For a long time I had a feeling I had PCOS. I would say the first time I brought it up to my OBGYN was the summer before I meet David so that would have been 2006. I had been going to a different OBGYN for irregular bleeding but instead of the absent bleeding I often had I had spotting a lot. Well I switched to a different OBGYN and he did an ultrasound and I had a polyp in my uterus. Simple fix with surgery. I mentioned then that my younger sister was diagnosed with PCOS and wondered if I could have it. I was assured he didn't think I did. The next time I questioned it with the same Dr. would have been June 2008 when we had tried to get pregnant for 6 months. Again he wasn't worried about PCOS but checked my thyroid and it was normal. We found out in August I was pregnant and had a relatively normal pregnancy. After Delainee was 1 we decided we would start trying again because it took over 6 months last time so that would be a perfect age apart. So fast forward to 6 months of trying and getting periods that last a month long after irregular periods. Went to family practitioner and had a ultrasound done and there was nothing wrong. I was told to go on birth control to regulate my period. Seriously? I am trying to get pregnant! I took it for one month and still had bleeding for a month so called my OBGYN. Again I asked about PCOS and it was pushed to the side. I was put on provera to regulate my period and clomid and should be pregnant by summer. Well that was summer of 2011. March 2013 I went to a Endocrinologist where my best friend just so happened to work. I had blood tests done for PCOS finally. And got the news, everything looked normal! How is that possible!? I just knew it was PCOS and now no answers! I was referred to Dr. Doherty but had a 16 week waiting period to get in to see her for a consultation. Someone with such a long wait has to be worth it! So in July we went and had our consultation and she told me right away I have PCOS and wrote me a script for Metformin and Provera. I had a test done to look and make sure my tubes are open and uterus looks good and it was a go for that. So now we just wait for my cycle to start so we can go back and see if we get the green light for fertility medication! This is kind of a rambling post but the point I am trying to make is if you don't think you are getting the answers you should find someone who will keep digging for you and specializes in your problem. Infertility is a disease, you wouldn't trust your heart to a dermatologist would you? So why trust your infertility to someone that doesn't specialize in it? An OBGYN can get you farther but a Reproductive Endocrinologist is who will really know what to look for. If you read this and have any questions you would like to keep private email me thompsonmelissa@hotmail.com or if you have me on FB message me. I certainly don't know all there is to know but I do have personal experience.

Ready or not...

Well the FedEx man came with a special delivery today! 

My fertility meds are here! Very mixed emotions are going on for me. I am ready for the next step but never thought this would be our reality. The odds are not in our favor for this to work the first time but we will continue to pray that God has this happen when he feels that it is best, not when we do. So now all I can do is wait for my period to start! Took my last Prevera today so hopefully within a few days and then praying everything looks good so we are good to go! Asking for continued prayers during this time and times to come. Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend!

No normal cycle for this girl

Well Friday would have been a 28 day cycle and sure enough no call no show. Now I am not going to fire my reproductive system but if she was in the workforce that would happen! I took an ovulation test and it was positive! So I had hope! Well turns out after talking to a nurse at Dr. Doherty's office yesterday with PCOS there is LH in my system at all times so it can show up a false positive, PCOS strikes again! So that was a bummer because I still had hope maybe just maybe we could do this on our own without needles and hormones. But I did get the all clear to start Provera again. Provera is a pill that I take 10 days and then after I am done taking it I should start my period within a few days. Last time it was within 2 days so if my calculations are right it should start the weekend of our 6th anniversary! Happy Anniversary Babe ;). Then comes labor day so praying it starts on our anniversary as crazy as that sounds because they would likely schedule my ultrasound for Tuesday instead of the Holiday. They are a 7 day clinic with extremely limited hours on weekends and holidays. So limited that we would have to be there before 7:30 in the morning! So pray that our appointment would land after the holiday! David won't be able to go with me to our appointment because he will have to take Delainee to school. Regular office days for those types of appointments are before 9:30 and it is in West Omaha so nearly a 2 hour drive. I will hopefully have company from someone so I don't have to make that drive by myself. I am going to call and order my injections today since I know we will need them in the next couple weeks, as long as the ultrasound looks good when I get my cycle. Please pray everything goes great so that we can get this ball rolling. The "odds" aren't great with IUI but we are working against 0% luck in the last 3+ years so it is better then that! I can't say how much we appreciate each and every prayer and will continue to appreciate them. We could be facing some happy or sad times ahead but God has a plan for us.

In other news our daughter started her second year of preschool yesterday! She is one of the "big kids this year". So crazy she is already this old! She was so excited for school yesterday and even today still! Here is a couple pictures of her before school!