Feeling Bummed...

I went in on September 4 for my cycle day 3 baseline ultrasound and got the all clear to start Follistim. I started at 75iu a day and was scheduled to go back September 9. Well I went back today and only small follies and I just got the call my E2 (Esterase) level is 49, it should be 100's. So my dose is increased to 225iu a day! Triple what I was on. I go back Thursday the 12th for an ultrasound and blood work. I am praying with all of my heart that this helps! I wouldn't have had enough medication for that high of a dose so luckily my Dr. gave me a sample to add to mine. That saves a considerable amount of $ but moving forward if this cycle doesn't work and my dose was that high it will be so much more $ then I could have ever expected! Just really don't know what to think at this point. I want to be hopeful but just feeling bummed right now. Hopefully Thursday I will fell better about this.


Well I went back yesterday (September 12th) and I had 1 follie on each side measuring 12 which was an increase from 7 so yay! I had lots of little ones she said which hopefully they don't decide to start responding because we don't need to over stimulate and then have a wasted cycle. But I am not going to focus on the what if I am going to focus on the fact that there are 2 follies that are growing! I am continuing on 225iu a day until Sunday and will go back then to have my blood drawn and ultrasound. Oh and I forgot to mention Monday my E2 was 49 Monday and 534 yesterday! So I am responding nicely! They want your level to be 200-600 per mature follie when you trigger and so far I am in that range for when that time comes and it should only rise!

September 15- Well my fear happened :( I over stimulated. 8 eggs were nearly mature so the cycle was canceled. Very bummed! So now the wait is on once again. I am sad that we have to start over with a new cycle, and mad that we spent so much $ on medicine but glad I guess that the first cycle is behind us and we can all learn from it and know what to expect. The dr will be more conservative next cycle so hopefully I won't over produce. We could have continued this cycle but we weren't willing to reduce in the event of more then 3 babies and a multiple pregnancy above that is just too dangerous and my Dr won't proceed, which I can't say I blame her. We certainly couldn't imagine that many babies either because it would involve so many risks. So we are in Omaha and going to enjoy the day with Delainee at Amazing Pizza Machine. :) 

September is PCOS Awareness Month

How ironic is it that our first fertility treatment is going to be during PCOS Awareness Month? PCOS is real and so many people could be living with it and don't even know it! That is my main reason for not keeping my disease and struggle a secret. I hope by me being open about my story I can  help even one women discover that she too may be going through the same thing and not getting the answers that I did not get. For a long time I had a feeling I had PCOS. I would say the first time I brought it up to my OBGYN was the summer before I meet David so that would have been 2006. I had been going to a different OBGYN for irregular bleeding but instead of the absent bleeding I often had I had spotting a lot. Well I switched to a different OBGYN and he did an ultrasound and I had a polyp in my uterus. Simple fix with surgery. I mentioned then that my younger sister was diagnosed with PCOS and wondered if I could have it. I was assured he didn't think I did. The next time I questioned it with the same Dr. would have been June 2008 when we had tried to get pregnant for 6 months. Again he wasn't worried about PCOS but checked my thyroid and it was normal. We found out in August I was pregnant and had a relatively normal pregnancy. After Delainee was 1 we decided we would start trying again because it took over 6 months last time so that would be a perfect age apart. So fast forward to 6 months of trying and getting periods that last a month long after irregular periods. Went to family practitioner and had a ultrasound done and there was nothing wrong. I was told to go on birth control to regulate my period. Seriously? I am trying to get pregnant! I took it for one month and still had bleeding for a month so called my OBGYN. Again I asked about PCOS and it was pushed to the side. I was put on provera to regulate my period and clomid and should be pregnant by summer. Well that was summer of 2011. March 2013 I went to a Endocrinologist where my best friend just so happened to work. I had blood tests done for PCOS finally. And got the news, everything looked normal! How is that possible!? I just knew it was PCOS and now no answers! I was referred to Dr. Doherty but had a 16 week waiting period to get in to see her for a consultation. Someone with such a long wait has to be worth it! So in July we went and had our consultation and she told me right away I have PCOS and wrote me a script for Metformin and Provera. I had a test done to look and make sure my tubes are open and uterus looks good and it was a go for that. So now we just wait for my cycle to start so we can go back and see if we get the green light for fertility medication! This is kind of a rambling post but the point I am trying to make is if you don't think you are getting the answers you should find someone who will keep digging for you and specializes in your problem. Infertility is a disease, you wouldn't trust your heart to a dermatologist would you? So why trust your infertility to someone that doesn't specialize in it? An OBGYN can get you farther but a Reproductive Endocrinologist is who will really know what to look for. If you read this and have any questions you would like to keep private email me thompsonmelissa@hotmail.com or if you have me on FB message me. I certainly don't know all there is to know but I do have personal experience.

Ready or not...

Well the FedEx man came with a special delivery today! 

My fertility meds are here! Very mixed emotions are going on for me. I am ready for the next step but never thought this would be our reality. The odds are not in our favor for this to work the first time but we will continue to pray that God has this happen when he feels that it is best, not when we do. So now all I can do is wait for my period to start! Took my last Prevera today so hopefully within a few days and then praying everything looks good so we are good to go! Asking for continued prayers during this time and times to come. Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend!

No normal cycle for this girl

Well Friday would have been a 28 day cycle and sure enough no call no show. Now I am not going to fire my reproductive system but if she was in the workforce that would happen! I took an ovulation test and it was positive! So I had hope! Well turns out after talking to a nurse at Dr. Doherty's office yesterday with PCOS there is LH in my system at all times so it can show up a false positive, PCOS strikes again! So that was a bummer because I still had hope maybe just maybe we could do this on our own without needles and hormones. But I did get the all clear to start Provera again. Provera is a pill that I take 10 days and then after I am done taking it I should start my period within a few days. Last time it was within 2 days so if my calculations are right it should start the weekend of our 6th anniversary! Happy Anniversary Babe ;). Then comes labor day so praying it starts on our anniversary as crazy as that sounds because they would likely schedule my ultrasound for Tuesday instead of the Holiday. They are a 7 day clinic with extremely limited hours on weekends and holidays. So limited that we would have to be there before 7:30 in the morning! So pray that our appointment would land after the holiday! David won't be able to go with me to our appointment because he will have to take Delainee to school. Regular office days for those types of appointments are before 9:30 and it is in West Omaha so nearly a 2 hour drive. I will hopefully have company from someone so I don't have to make that drive by myself. I am going to call and order my injections today since I know we will need them in the next couple weeks, as long as the ultrasound looks good when I get my cycle. Please pray everything goes great so that we can get this ball rolling. The "odds" aren't great with IUI but we are working against 0% luck in the last 3+ years so it is better then that! I can't say how much we appreciate each and every prayer and will continue to appreciate them. We could be facing some happy or sad times ahead but God has a plan for us.

In other news our daughter started her second year of preschool yesterday! She is one of the "big kids this year". So crazy she is already this old! She was so excited for school yesterday and even today still! Here is a couple pictures of her before school!

 

 

 

This is soon my reality

So I have been thinking a lot about the next step in our journey. And this is what it looks like.

Alcohol wipes, needles, injection pen and a sharps container. I wouldn't say I am afraid of needles. I have four tattoos after all. I just can't imagine giving myself shots or David for that matter! But I better just get over that because reality is David will be giving me shots and if he is unavailable I will have to do it myself. We opted for the pen type rather then the one that goes in the buttock (like how I'm being proper. Lol) so I could do it myself but hope I won't. I would probably need a stiff drink before that and they prefer you drink in moderation while doing fertility treatments! :) Anyone that knows me knows that won't be a problem because I don't have a taste for alcohol. Another benefit with the pen is no mixing. With the inter-muscular injections (in the butt) we would mix powder with saline solution then suck it up into the syringe and then change the needle because you don't use the same one to inject. With the pen that little creamer looking container in the picture has the needle. You screw it on to the end of the pen which will have the medicine in it. You dial the pen in at the end for how many units you are to use and then inject. Pretty dummy proof! Then unscrew the needle part and put it in the sharps container and put the pen in the fridge. That is it! We can do this! Now praying my cycle will start on a "normal" time so we can get started.   

Nothing new on the home front

I haven't updated for a while but there isn't anything new with our journey. Just the waiting game! And this feels like the longest time of my life! I am so ready to move on to the next step and in order to do that we have to wait for my next cycle. I am just praying it is normal because of the metformin so that we will at least be moving on sooner! I haven't been doing the low carb like I should but as long as I stay away from sweets it doesn't bother me too much. But then I made this and well I just had to suffer from it because it is so damn good!

This is chocolate chocolate chip zucchini bread. It tastes like brownie! So so so good! I highly recommend you getting on Pinterest and searching the recipe! I made some more the next day and put them in the freezer for the day when I can eat it without a belly ache! 

We took Delainee down to KC to T-Rex on Wednesday and stayed in a hotel. That girl loves staying in a hotel! David said our next trip should be to the T in town because she would love it just as much. Lol. Although part of the excitement is the swimming pool so Tarkio probably wouldn't qualify! We also did a little shopping and she got way into it! I mean dressing room and all! I am not a big shopper myself only for Delainee so at least David will only be in trouble with her and not me too! Here she is when we were getting ready to leave Thursday

.

This is one of her new dresses that she picked out! She couldn't pass up a good photo op! She said mom here take my picture by this! She is so fun! I don't know what I would ever do without her. Never a dull moment! 

Well that is about all of the excitement we have has lately! Happy Friday!  

Moving in the right direction!

So today I went in for a Sono Hysterosalpingogram (SSG). This was performed to make sure everything looked good in my uterus and fallopian tubes. All checked out good and she confirmed I have polycystic ovaries. That was not really a surprise but yet it was in a way. I guess it is just a confirmation of what I already knew but it just helps me to think I haven't been crazy for these past 5 years when I have known something wasn't right but was continually told that it wasn't PCOS. For so long I have known something wasn't right but it wasn't until we were trying for Delainee that I really knew.  Here is an example of what the difference between PCOS and normal ovaries.

So after I start my next cycle, either on my own or with the help or provera, we will be moving on to the next step. That will be injectables. This will be once a day for 7-10 days in the thigh. We could have done in the rear but the needle was longer and we would have to mix it. LOL So we opted for the option with a pen. I will still probably have David administer them because I can't imagine giving myself a shot in the leg or anywhere for that matter! Won't really bore you with all the details of that right now since it is still a month plus away.

I am on Metformin 3 a day now and have been doing horrible with the low carb eating so tomorrow is a new day and I can do this! This is going to help my dreams come true!

And on another subject we decided (I didn't want to cook and wanted one last bad cheat off low carb) to go to McDonalds and eat inside for supper tonight. While there 2 ladies and 4 kids came in. Now I don't want to sound mean but you just know when you see someone that isn't putting healthy "substances" into their body and one of the ladies that was pregnant mind you just gave me that vibe. The kids were all wound to the max and the pregnant mom seemed like she could snap. While the kids were eating their dollar menu burgers and sharing a fry I heard one little boy say we can't get happy meals because we can't afford it. It just broke my heart. Then a while later a little girl maybe around Delainee's age or younger said "can we please get a McDonalds toy?" How sad :( While we were walking out David had Delainee's toy (which she already had one I know bad parents we eat out too much). David walked by and did his typical "hi how are you" to the mom and then he gave the little girl the toy. Seriously touched my heart. Delainee noticed I think because she said "uh mom" and I just said Delainee no so that I wouldn't get a "MOM THAT IS MY TOY". We left McDonalds and Delainee didn't even mention the toy. Had she brought it up I would have explained to her what a good thing that was to do but maybe she just knew? So proud to be married to such a wonderful man!